Stocks up. Gold down. Bitcoin…waaay up.

The S&P 500 busted through the 1,500 mark this morning. Stocks haven’t been this expensive since 2007…right before they got a whole lot cheaper…for a whole lot longer. Gold, meanwhile, dipped a tad. This, despite central bankers of the world goading it on, promising to dilute the value of their respective paper currencies against the Midas Metal. Befriend the dips.

And what about bitcoin? Wait…what is bitcoin??

Why, it’s a speculation, of course; a dark horse, beloved by anarchists, ne’er-do-wells and fringe-dwelling lunatics, the kind of people you wouldn’t invite over for tea with your mother-in-law. It is the fascination of the ill-adjusted, the oddly-mannered, the heterodoxical hedonist. Indeed, the very idea of bitcoin, a “decentralized, cyber-crypto currency,” has to it a ring of the unknown…of disruption, rebellion…perhaps even revolution…

In plain English, it’s not to be trusted by members of polite society. And these are just some of the reasons we like it so much!

Since we first disgraced these pages with mention of the wretched thing, bitcoin has quadrupled in price…then fallen through the floor…then risen once again, like a Phoenix, nurtured by the fertile ashes of doubt and skepticism.

On the subject of cyber currencies, pointy-headed professors remain predictably divided. Economists, too, are split down the middle.

Even the libertarian camp seems unsure of its “official” stance…